"It is the confidence in our bodies, minds and spirits that allows us to keep looking for new adventures" - Oprah Winfrey
Self- confidence is a term I'm sure most of us hear on a daily basis. Be it getting scolded for not being able to talk in public or just being somewhat scared of whatsoever reason.
But what is self-confidence? It surely isn't something you just go and buy . Or praying to lord to make you confident makes you the most confident person on earth the next day?
No, right?
So what is it?
How does it affect us personally or socially ?
How to develop it?
Millions of questions go through our minds hearing this word.
Honestly, writing about this topic it quite ironic for me. Few years back I could have been labelled as the most unconfident person (not exaggerating). But it's natural for some people. Not everyone can be out spoken like someone else but is not being out spoken and lacking self-confidence the same?
Contradictory, no they aren't.
How can you define 'being out spoken'?
Not fearing public or a people's person or just someone with extraordinary social skills.
But when we are lacking self-confidence it means we are doubting ourselves, not finding ourselves as good enough as others , fear of not fitting in etcetera etcetera .
So what is it all about ?
Well let's see
WHAT IS SELF CONFIDENCE?
Technically speaking self-confidence is the ability of an individual to have complete faith in himself . It is the positive attitude the shortcomings in oneself and the ability to accept them as a part of who you are. Having the knowledge about one's strengths and weaknesses, fears and potential, and the act of loving our personality counts as self-confidence.
Dalia Lama once said, "With realization of one's own potential and self-confidence in one's ability , one can built a better world."
We all hear that nothing is impossible with the willingness to achieve it or one can achieve success only if they are willing to face failure in life.
But easier said than done.
No matter how much we excel in any field humans have a tendency to doubt themselves over the pettiest of things.
Fine, let's take a common example
We have to speak about a topic given on the spot for the assembly in front of the whole school.
Sounds familiar?
Well anyways, not taking in regard everyone but most of us are hesitant at first.
Millions of thoughts run through are brain
Oh god what if I start fumbling?
What if they start laughing ?
What if I won't be able to come up with anything? They will call me a loser
Oh she said so fluently and factually how will I come up with something like that?
There is simply no end to these thoughts but had you not devoted so much time worrying about the reaction of your classmates which frankly you shouldn't care about , and would have actually made it useful in collecting yourself , keeping your mind at peace and free of thoughts wouldn't it be simpler? If you hadn't thought about it you would not have been worried about it all through your performance.
That's where self-confidence comes in.
In simple words having faith that you are good enough and not caring about what others will think of you.
It's your life, if you can't even live it without caring about others opinions what is the whole point of living . That's not living , it is simply surviving.
And do you think those people who didn't hesitate in grabbing the opportunity where born with self-confidence? God thought, "Oh I should put a tablespoon of self-confidence in him and as for him a pinch is enough."
Of course not.
Self-confidence it not something default present in someone but it is developed over time and that's applicable for all even if the time duration varies but each one has to put in an effort to gain that virtue.
HOW TO GAIN SELF-CONFIDENCE
First and foremost step is accepting yourself as who you are .
It is quite a philosophical thing to say but it actually works . Until and unless you can't accept yourself how can you have faith in yourself , how can you have the attitude of having a individual personality?
True it's not an overnight process but for expecting a result work has to be put in to actually have a positive outcome.
Secondly, eliminating self-doubt.
Without a doubt it makes to the list of ways to gain confidence. When you can't get over the fact that there is nothing like 'not good enough' or 'not my cup of tea' how do you expect others to know your abilities. When you fear competition how can you showcase your talent?
Self-doubting is one of the worst traits of human beings which is not at all rare , but the ones who are able to jump out of it can prove to be exceptional.
Thoughts , thoughts and more thoughts.
This may account as the most dangerous one of them all. Not to mention they are the perfect example of a double sided coin , though very beneficial but over of anything is disturbing like it is said, "Too many cooks spoil the broth." It is important to keep them in limit and not let overthinking affect you. Thinking about it too much may hold you from doing something you would have been over with , within the time you spent considering the worst case scenario.
CONCLUSION
To conclude it is safe to say no one can help to gain confidence except you yourself . Undoubtedly it's a huge part of one's life , the sooner it comes the better it benefits for you .
So gather yourself and stop paying heed to others about your life . It's your life to control not any random person's opinion . You are unique in yourself and not inferior than anyone .
Be confident in yourself and love yourself which includes the flaws.
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